Do people see me that way?

The experience of having your face drawn by a cartoon artist, or any artist for that matter, can be fun or terrifying depending on your level of self esteem. The question comes to mind: do people see me that way? Everyone has their quirks and artists are excellent at finding them. I had the privilege of posing as a model for figure drawing classes last year, and I saw things about myself in those drawings that I never saw in myself before ( I sat up a little straighter after that.) This time, I got to draw myself. This is no masterpiece, but it does a good job of showing off what I see when I look at myself. How do you see yourself?

I can do art good

This semester I'm taking a design and color class. I must admit, design has never been a strength of mine. I just like to do what looks good, and sometimes that doesn't match up with acceptable  norms. I also sometimes have difficulty seeing those accepted principles in other peoples work. It either looks good or it doesn't, and it's all a matter of opinion. So half for quite a lot of this class, I feel like I have been "guessing." Meaning I just draw something that I think looks kind of good, and hope it meets the requirements. So it came as a surprise and a little boost to my pride bubble when my teacher informed me that he would be using my pieces for project examples next semester!

These may look simple, but each of them took HOURS! (that may or may not have something to do with the fact that I've picked up a habit of watching movies while I paint. Sometimes I spend more time watching the movie than painting) These were meant to show the principles of dominance and subordination. Apparently I achieved that goal. Yay!

Can you all see me? Can you all... HEAR me.

There is something about playing a loud, obnoxious instrument in a public place that attracts an audience. I should have been burying my head in scientific research analysis, but the sunset was captivating, and the warm weather and sweet spring smell were intoxicating, and I couldn't stay inside. Neither could my bagpipes. The day was one for open windows and doors for all the non-air-conditioned complexes, and it wasn't long before I held a captive audience leaning through windows, and over balconies, and stopping in the street. I laughed at the applause and cheers. They don't even realize how out of tune and rusty I sound from not playing for months at a time. But it feels good anyway. Someone walked across the street, maybe to get a closer look, but then he came right up to me to ask if I had a minute.
"So I play accordion," what?? you play accordion? I love you! lets be friends. Will you teach me? "and I play a lot of traditional folk music. My accordion teacher played bagpipes. Anyway, would you wanna jam sometime?"
"Oh yeah, sure." No one has ever asked me to jam with them before even though I obviously wanted to my whole life forever! Score! Is this real? What if I play with him, and he finds out how bad I am? What if we started a band?
We walked up the street to his apartment to get his accordion, and after much noise making that could hardly be recognized as any sort of music, and sideways looks from passerby, the sun went down, I wore my face out, and we each learned a tune from the other.
I walked home with a feeling of elation, of energy, of life! That sounded awful. We could totally start a band. I hope he teaches me accordion. I could get good at this. I love playing with people. Best day ever.

Enough Said?

You have beautiful hair.

The other day I was going about what I thought was my rather mundane life. Nothing special. No one to impress, no reason or desire to look nice or be nice to anyone in particular. I don't have much of a social group, no boyfriend, or employer who needs me to be pretty and presentable. Just me. As I was checking out at the store, I made an effort to smile at the cashier. As she was going about her life however mundane or exciting it was to her, she smiled back at me and said "Your hair is beautiful." in such a sincere way that my smile suddenly became effortless as I said, "thank you." It was a simple thing she said in passing but I walked away smiling and feeling about ten times prettier than I had two minutes before. I doubt she thought much about her compliment; just a thought crossing her mind that she chose to say out loud. She will never know the affect it had on me for the rest of day. It was a ray of sunlight; a splash of color in my otherwise gray day. I often hear motivational talk about smiling and complimenting others going a long way. I never understood that much till now. Maybe I still don't.

The holiday season is busy and expensive. Its a time of giving and getting and plan making and spending. Remember that a midst the commercial craziness of the season that kindness is priceless and nothing shines brighter or warms the heart more than the goodness of your own heart. Its the people in our lives and the love in our hearts that make the holidays what they should be. Christmas doesn't come from a store. Christmas means a little bit more.

The Gospel Blesses Families

I have a missionary experience to share! At the beginning of the summer I was assigned to visit teach a non member named Nicole who has a less active husband, Kevin. Nicole had met with the missionaries once or twice before and showed interest in the message but didn't want to pursue it without the support of her husband who was not interested in the slightest. When Megan (my v.t. companion) and I started visiting Nicole, she said it was ok if we shared gospel messages with her.

Over the summer there was that huge missionary conference emphasizing church tours. My bishop knew I had done church tours in my mission and sent the elders in my stake to talk to me about it and I gave them a run down of how church tours work in the Spokane mission. I promised them that I would invite Nicole on a church tour as they had been trying to teach her for months without success.

Well it took me quite a long time to get the church tour set up with Nicole and by the time I did, transfers came and went a new set of elders swept into the area. Both brand new and never having done or heard much about church tours, they had to scramble to come up with something when I told them they were taking Nicole on one. The tour they took her on was almost laughable! It was nothing like the church tours I'm used to. It was chaotic and disorganized and way too long with way too many tangents. But toward the end of it, they finally came to the baptism font and invited her to be baptized. I got such a thrill of excitement to hear that invitation and feel the spirit working on her as she thought about it with hesitation and surprise. At the very end we stopped at the painting of the first vision. The elders taught about the first vision and the Book of Mormon and invited her to read it. Up to that point I had been quiet. The elders had invited the ward mission leader, the relief society president and another member and my v.t. companion. With all of them being very eager to share comments and thoughts, It always seemed my comments would just be another thing to forget. But finally at the first vision I had the beautiful opportunity to share my testimony of the the prophet, the Book of Mormon and my savior, Jesus Christ. That is my favorite thing.

Nicole has been meeting with the missionaries ever since. Because of my work schedule, I've only been able to attend a few of the lessons. It wasn't too long before Nicole had a tentative baptism date. She was so worried that she wouldn't be ready on time and she always lamented that her husband wouldn't be coming back to church. Well, one day I came out of class from teaching primary and standing in the foyer were Nicole AND Kevin! As we were talking, the ward mission leader came to greet them and added is surprise and excitement to mine. They informed us that Nicole would no longer be getting baptized the following Saturday because they had just decided that Kevin would be the one to baptize her. He met with the bishop that day and started getting himself prepared to worthily baptize his wife.

Last week I had the opportunity to attend and speak at Nicoles baptism. Kevin did a wonderful job and there were lots of people from Kevins family and the ward there to support them both. Kevin and Nicole moved into a new ward this week and their new bishop, relief society president and ward mission leader were there to welcome them to the their new ward. Kevin and Nicole were so happy and I could see that the Gospel truly does bless families as they became united with Father in Heaven. I am full of gratitude that I got to be a part it.

Yoga is Magic. . . . .but mostly inspired by God.

I often feel that life is terribly ruthless as it rushes onward and demands that I rush along with it. It takes me along paths with obstacles and pitfalls where I will be sure to fall and scrape a knee and on occasion brake a bone. As I am feeling sorry for myself, life is impatient and tells me to hurry up. There are things to do, places to go, people to attend to, goals to reach, plans to make and on and on. But it hurts! Can't I get a bandaid? Can I wash off the dirt at least?

In the last weeks I have felt a torrent of emotions, decisions, worries, excitements, stress, and all sorts of everything we children of God experience all mounting and building until at a climax I found myself unable to hold back tears and depression and sadness threatened to overwhelm and leave me incapable following life along his reckless marathon. Somewhere inside there was a peace and stillness. A feeling of rightness about it all but my desire to sleep or read a book and ignore the rest of the world was far more appealing than accepting help from the spirit.

This morning I attended a private yoga session. As I meditated and allowed my body, my spirit, and my mind to be at peace with one another, I felt beauty in life once again. He and I are friends, I do believe, but I forgot that for a while. I am still sad. But I can live at peace with being sad while simultaneously appreciating love, beauty, peace, and simple joys in life. Though tears may come, there is hope smiling brightly before me. As I drove away, I felt like singing. That is a good feeling.